My Friend Hormones

Pregnancy has a plethora of symptoms, side effects, and new adventures, such as:

Had to get over my hatred of public restrooms, because I would hate wetting my britches more. Hormones. 

Suddenly my feet look like Ronald McDonald’s. Hormones. 

Saw a pair of baby shoes that resembled a pair of shoes I own …and instantly cried. Hormones. 
Caught myself slobbering like a Great Dane. Hormones. 

Let my husband know he smelled like the great outdoors farted. Hormones. 

I have more zits than the entire high school band. Hormones. 

Can’t brush my teeth without my gums bleeding a little. Hormones. 

I dream of fighting off a bear until I figure out it’s a baby bear in a diaper, so I rock it to sleep. Hormones. 

Walk into the kitchen and stare into the spice cabinet until my husband asks what I’m doing. “Umm, I forget.” Hormones. 

Fall asleep before dinner is done. Hormones. 

Wake up with a hang over without drinking a drop. Hormones. 

I want to fry up two pigs worth of bacon and dip it in honey roasted peanut butter. Hormones. 

I’ve come to find out, almost all pregnancy symptoms are due to hormones. I can’t think of one that isn’t!